I attract the strangest damn people…

That’s not to say that I am not one of them but damn, I try to fit in sometimes.

i rode the train into the city this afternoon so i could get a walk in and be creative, I need to keep a routine so I don’t get lazy and for my better state of mind. i am happy My buddy allows me refuge and a place for my crap but her kids drive me batty sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I adore kids (sometimes) but there’s a reason ‘The Almighty put fucked up people in my life and separated me from them.

but anyway

I get of the train at Skidmore fountain.. I see temptation but i let it be, I have my priorities in line and I’m ready to cut everyone out my life again. At that moment I hadn’t chosen a path for my walk but I chose the direction. Towards the river, I face my first steps …a woman little older than I propositions me; its her girlfriends birthday and she has nice big breasts she says (I’m getting a hard on just thinking about it now). But I tell her that I’m in no mood and that I am sober. Not to mention the last time I allowed a strange woman to sway me.. i was working overtime (something your not allowed to day as a cabbie) and it cost me my job. So fuck a white hoe right now ( I didn’t say that to her but you get my mood and state of mind). She went on to ask for some change, (sigh). Sorry babe but I;m out doors too but if I had the money Id get you and her blasted and forget the world (you gotta say that so they hear you).

Now a blowjob would be wonderful right now, I fucking need one but the randomness of my youth is gone, its ben replaced by anger and distrust… AGAIN. and I’m happy about that.

People talk about being modest and humble, but they wouldn’t know GOD if he stepped up to them and slapped them in the face. Ive been both all my life and taking shit I don’t deserve, dating girls whose insecurities where greater than my insanity, I haven’t had a mothe…. umm next time.

Yeah, I got issues but I learned that so does every other shit head asshole out here; so why am I the lonely one. I know but fuck it.

PAUSE

So now what………. ? Does the mail run on Veterans day? I’m expecting two checks and I’m broke, 200$ in food stamps don’t last long for a grown ass man whose trying to maintain his strength and independence. Fucking AYE. I start working at (none of your damn business lol Ill say later after Ive started) I’ll be so glad to get a pad but where to live now. loll Out of the city thats where, someplace where I can be loud and make my music (noise).

Is this guy really tapping his forehead (I hate hanging out at the library). fucking preppy piece of shit (sorry, this isn’t the place for preppy shit, no matter what your position in life is).

PAUSE

Hello notes, I’m here again and I do what I do so I can work through… If youre reading me now, you can see …I am my own being and real all day. Get some,

lol

LIFT UP MY SOUL OH LORD

LIFT UP MY SOUL OH LORD

LIFT UP MY SOUL ALMIGHTY

So you and I can see eyeye.