Sitting on the steps of the JC, I watch artist paint on their canvas the area where the elk once stood. It has since been replaced with an new elk, creepier and taller. In the distance, a Caucasian woman, wearing a line green skin suit sings… “Black lives matter”.
I don’t know how to feel right now, because I’m basically homeless again. I’ve used the money I had to stay at the hotel over the weekend. I don’t feel any more empowered than I did at the start of this mess. If anything at all, black people acknowledge one another more often in passing. Nothings changed. That damage everyone is bitching about was minimal compared to the trauma we or I felt. Why would you bring up history of you’re not going to amend it with something good and worthwhile.
A Caucasian male in a tie dye shirt, greyish hair came to say hello just now… Asking if I needed anything and shook my hand. “I’m good, thank you”. I appreciate that.
I don’t know how to feel right now, so much stress of the pass few weeks, shit, months!!. The wells of my eyes are filled but I don’t know if it’s emotional or the air; I’ve been sleeping all day in the room at the Georgia hotel. My body is sore, I need a massage or an adjustment.
So fucking sore.
On a brighter note I have a option ‘Call’ on BAC that I’m hoping rises and I’ve decided on what tshirt to print. There are multiple colors so it’s gonna cost a bit and I’m hoping that my peer support it. They’re not the kind of people who just give money to help. They’re just like the rest of us… Show me what you got so I can purchase it and that’s okay. I respect that.
We’re all so uppity about capitalism but we continue to work, purchase and complain about it, it’s rather disturbing. Its okay really. We can all capitalize on our talents, in fact we should but the exploitation of such talents or our physical being, is what gets most people upset.

Lastly, watching over everyone… Thinking about all the people who profited from this insanity. I wonder who took the time to help their black friends through all this. Because no matter how proud we all to stand or sit on our own… We need the right kind of help.

Open Your Eyes

I’m babbling now.
I’m gonna stop and try to act like I’m enjoying my life.