Standing at a bus stop, trying not to think about the rest of my life. Almost have enough to move into a new place. Independence or roommate, sheesh.. Either way it’s a struggle.

And what does the future hold? Smdh, guess it doesn’t really matter… So long as I got somewhere I can walk around in my underwear.

Pause

I wrote that on FB… Why? Why do we feel the need to tell someone al our business? Why do we hope someone will read it and reach out? I like to think of the movie ‘Fight Club’s, the scene where our main character meets himself on the plane; thinking about single serving friends. Challenging it’s meaning over the years, with the like of every “relationship”.

I think facebook has proven to have an ill effect on its users, being the advertisement machine as it is. Do we, you talk that much in real life? Are you that opinionated openly to and about your peers.. or strangers?

Before facebook and MySpace, I was very quiet and calm. My business struggling was my own, I haven’t received any more or less attention, so why am I addicted to reading about what others have to say.

We still can’t or won’t support one another.. or maybe they can’t or won’t support me? Am I too real, too black or too crazy? Maybe… I’ve gotten soft? I’ve never asked for help before, now I do it all the time. Guess how many people have reached out to help when I called… I’ve been homeless a year now. This Covid shit has fucked up all the progress I had planned for the year. I’m whining, I know.

I knew 2020 would be an eye opener, I just knew I’d be prepared for ‘This’. Yet as depressing as it all is or was, I was prepared… Just not in the way I expected.

Eh, now what.

I still think the message that’s coming from inside is necessary but why? Why am I so uber positive while others seem to be off the chain. Because I’ve already been there and done that? I don’t have time to think about that now… No one is offering to help me pay my rent, except for the man who allowed me stay at his home to save money. (Thank you)

I should shut up now, before I write something stupid… Oh, I already do that, didn’t I.

Thanks for hanging out… I’ll try to write something worth reading or at least pretty next time.