I won’t lie.. I get frustrated when I see people asking for help and getting positive feedback, raising thousands of dollars and sometimes, they’re nowhere near the difficulty I’m at/was at.
But I find peace when I realize just how hard I pushed to overcome those obstacles and barriers. Am I crude or rude when I express my anger… Maybe but at least I’m real, I did it myself.
So what if I make a fool of myself along the way ..I earned the right to be angry and happy.
I’ve earned my scar’s and they’re not all flesh wounds.
I’m not a father and fatherhood doesn’t make you a man, just like giving birth to a child doesn’t make you a woman. We all hide behind these social label pretending that we are better than the next human because we did a thing. I’m happy for you because I know where you came from what how you’ve changed but if you’re belittling others because they cannot have what you have for whatever reason, maybe you’re not as good a man, woman, mother, father you claim to be.
But this rant isn’t about you… Nothing I ever say is…
It’s about self expression at all cost, even if it hurts me or your opinion of me.

I’m not a holiday man, I wasn’t raised to be and yes that hurts sometimes… But I’m also glad not to be deduced down to the ideal of what a man should be, especially in a world that stole that stole what I might have been… Even if that’ was just being a dead child in a hut in another country.
Why am I hurting
Why do I share it openly
Why do I care
Why should you…

You shouldn’t… maybe if we all minded our own damn business, we’d be too busy to be boasting and bragging or acting like we’re mother Teresa.
Maybe self help would be just that, maybe we wouldn’t be …..fuck it, I’m just venting, having a moment outside my head.
Forget you read this nonsense

This isn’t about my current fundraiser… I find myself reacting more lately to random post of people I don’t know. Maybe it’s time to retreat into my abyss and leave the “social media” world out of my life.

Sigh… Freedom of speech right? What does that mean….

Im watching Seven Pounds again. I shouldn’t but it just happens to be on at the moment and I just happen to be in this mode of expression.

I am okay but I feel that I need to say that.