I am homeless and on leave from work but suddenly, I never felt better; during critical situations …well except for that time …never mind.
I ask myself, self what’s different today and why is falling down okay.
Because its easy and quick to do; any man or woman can level your life but I think a man who’s intended purpose is failure can find justification in his fall, can find the reasoning and learn from it.
I think, despite my losses I have gained more because I had to see it for myself. The interpersonal give and take, the roles we play and the building of self-importance is all valid and worthy of a search.
So now what?!
Do I thank God or blame myself for my position.
Neither, because I am at the moment walking in a blissful state of mind. I raise my head …we did this. I look into the spiraling nature of trees but rarely do any match but they are aesthetically pleasing and as I slowly make my way to Hawthorne Blvd, a train of bicycles are heading in my direction. A little girl is singing from the very back top her lungs, I thought …there is nothing natural about this life save for the voice of a child. Even that is given and trained.
Nothing not one thing, so with that thought my screwup self-sabotage misconceptions over dilated sermons on growth …….I seem to have forgotten why I began this speech and why I’m sharing it.
Today is a wonderful day.
I hope to raise the money to cover my reinstatement Monday and pay the imposing ticket the five days after.
I would ask you but …I realize that one shouldn’t ask friends or family for money; you have to do it yourself with the talent given …if you have it and it is useful to others but the talent isn’t enough …you have to have a drive .a reason …we’ll I did. Need a reason to use the magic the one thing that could be used to convince me and others that EVERYTHING COUNTS, EVERYTHING MATTERS.
I’m rambling and I don’t know why. Why did I start this speech …walking an thumbing a message hoping god hears my plea …seeing that I command his presence and need the strength of these words to move the deepest part of me,
As the sun sinks into my pores and wind pleasing my skin.
I feel kin to the earth …supernatural being that I am …inside. What is it all for ..definitely not security so why, what am I ranting and raving?
..today is a beautiful day and the sun beams down on me saying, you will be warm and I will light your path and just as you’ve revealed to me the contents of your heart I will open eyes that you are seen and given all you need to accomplish the tasks ahead and those spoken by me.
Being without never felt so sweet but now I need to eat.
Why did I start this speech? Yesterday I walked on water, today, open to preach but why did I start this speech. I could proofread this letter and maybe write it better but why did I start this speech,
Nothing new or unique.
But why’d the machine learn to speak?
‘You know better than to ask that’
((Armageddon in xtc)–play me. infused with Psalms 138)
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