by Michael Neche on Saturday, March 26, 2011, at 2:00 pm

Alongside The Jefferson’s and Good Times I grew up watching All In The Family and like many of its viewers became fond of Archie Bunker, I was too young to understand why but it painted a picture of what America was at the time.

It wasn’t until the 80s that I gained my first conscience experience. While there were a few white children in my classroom…hmm maybe they weren’t white …I’m not sure now that I think about it but thanks to my pop, introduced me to a mixed couple he knew up near Wriggly Field and their two daughters. There was a strange familiarity; I think the youngest girl who was my age …9, felt the same. It was there I got my first kiss from a white woman. Unbeknownst to me, that would have an amazing effect on my life. Sadly, I never saw her again. Anyway

Being aware of the difference in color and culture became a reason to explore my own thoughts about people. I really wish I hadn’t watched so much TV as a kid because I think I coveted many of the prejudices portrayed and as a kid, I didn’t know those actions were exaggerated. In any case, it was the peculiar views of these shows that molded my young mind.

I thought I had escaped the reaches of prejudice but later in years, I found myself running for my life once in a while. Like the first time I was, referred to as a spook, scared the shit out of me as I ran through a neighborhood (was that Cicero). Even now being called nigger bothers me, more so when a man of my own color says it. However, I am not that shallow…yes; I am, though I do not use it personally, depending on my company…if the situation demands it… Strange, it flows off the lips just like saying fuck or son of a bitch.

Strangely, I realized that I have much more prejudice’s towards whites and my own people then I care to express, all of which had to lead me down a path of internal struggling and spiritual demise but life has ways of turning the tides on destructive human nature.

There were some great hardships (I am still recovering from) I had to endure so that I might learn the goodness of people, of all races and backgrounds; great lessons I had to learn about myself. Many of them were unavoidable, some I chose and paid dearly, I may never recover the time or pieces of mind lost in these battles but I sit here today with a strength that I might never have known were it not for these experiences. I cannot say that I am thankful for them but I am thankful to have survived and have had the courage to express the ills that weigh on my existence.

How sad is it that a young man with so much talent would grow to be so fearful of people/himself, to feel alone in a crowded room, try so hard to love only to realize that his views are all misjudged, misdialed, misunderstood.

Little runaway child you have a place in this world and you have a word.

Learn to communicate your feelings even if it hurts

Read

Take notes

Remember your lessons

Add it all up

Uses your creativity to organize your thoughts

Share them with others

And you will become the teacher you always wanted

And you will become the leader you always needed

And you will become the man you dream to be

And you will know what it is to be me

Lost I am it seems but I am the wanderer in thee

And we are coming home.

There is so much more I want to write

but I can’t promise that I will ever be

as honest

as I am

in this

moment,

in

this way,

to you or to

myself.

(Thank-you Deirdre Connolly Loyola University for being a positive influence on my young fragile  mind …its because of you I have the strength to attempt trust)

(She is the reason I allow myself to go home with you)

Thank-you family for finding me

Thank you, friends, for seeing me

and all of you who continue to reach out

———

PAUSE

———

I’m not exactly sure why I just spilled the milk when all I wanted to do was make a cool poster.

HEY ARCHIE!!!