There are times when

The hands can’t quite grasp the numbers

The voices which you’ve become so accustomed to going silent

Confidence, well …that’s the only thing holding you

To any bit of ego …god …attitude

Whatever you want to call it

That tiny string that gives a reason to continue

When you’re less willing to.

But you want to be strong …it’s a momentary lapse in reason that’s all

So distracted by clouds, you’ve forgotten

What really ails you.

Then

Magic …a holiday, to put it all in

…perspective?

 

You’re alone

And you want to be because you think something’s wrong with you

“How messed up must you be that no one will claim you”

It’s far from the truth but it resonates deeply.

Yes the Mayans were correct

A shift did occur and I’m right on the rift

I don’t’ really care anymore

This mind is soiled with the past and there’s no changing that

However, I can use my unresolved pain

Uncensored anger

Undying love, to create something beautiful

Even if it’s just crap and emotional garbage to me

At some point, it will be wonderful because it shine a light on the truth

And the truth is………………

 

Pause

 

WHO AM I SUPPOSED, TO TELL THE TRUTH TO?

When I try to care enough, not to bring others into the pit I’m in

This shallow grave, walking tomb

Slave? To the ways of our so-called evils.

but I was happy once… was I not?

if so where is that stage in my regression

What …am I living Jobs story now,

What is this path on which you have led me?

My bones and teeth are brittle

Mind fragile

 

Heart??

Do I have it still, shall I smoke it or bleed out…

Is this because I thought something was wrong with me

No… This started long before I had any notion of altering my mind for love

WHAT IS IT!!!

 

Pause

 

Maybe, I have locked myself away for too long and isolation has taken its toll.

No, I won’t be killing myself today

Maybe I should off you because it’s my faith in you that gives me such agony

No, you’re not there

You’re not my father; you took him away along with my mother.

If you ARE …Why, have YOU, forsaken ME

 

Pause

 

The man on television just said …

“I have every right to be unhappy”

 

Pause

 

No sis I won’t let go … It took me much too long to find you, to find someone to share my feelings

But, that act is not cowardly to my understanding

 

Pause

 

I am not as unhappy as this appears notes

…just, a moment of truth

Which I feel needs to be stated from time to time

…even the strongest MUST

Breakdown

FIN